At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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