You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
