Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
