Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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