My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
