ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
