I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
