i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
