Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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