it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
