Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
