ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
