How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
