I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
