fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize