remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
