I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
