i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
