The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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