i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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