Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
