So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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