You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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