I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
