I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
