I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
