i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize
