How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
