this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
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I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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