Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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