Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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