we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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