i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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