hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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