I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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