you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
