I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
