everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
