im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
