so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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