so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
