your parents love me but you hate me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
