Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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