There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
