hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
