friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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