playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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