it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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