I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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