Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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