How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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