Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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