Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
