I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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