used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
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Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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