I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
