She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
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"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
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On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.