i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.