don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
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there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.