you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.