the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
