i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
