i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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