im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize