I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Shame - the story of my life.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
