I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
