Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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