do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He better not be in your backpack
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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