I'm drive I can fine osifer
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
