Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
