I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
