were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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