He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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